Of course there are other paths which teach that. None, perhaps, with the ferocity and tenacity of G and O, but that ferocity can be a problem if it sets the student against himself, that is, if by asking too much of him it makes him rebellious.
The idea of "self-study" was a very helpful one to me. I have been doing it also these past few days, without really planning to do so. I was just sitting on the floor for about ten minutes, my mind wandering, and realized that I felt lost and not in control of anything at all. I roused myself to get up and start writing this. This was Force 1 (my will) controlling Force 2 (my mechnical "sitting there and doing nothing, duh!"). Now at least, in writing this, I am struggling to "get it right," to say something which might be interesting or useful to someone else; I am trying to conquer the merely "mechanical" drift of my whole consciousness toward one diversion or another.
I thought of watching the next episode of a Netflix series I like. No! I do not think doing that is always a mistake or always "mechanical." I chose this particular series because it is highly illumining to me. Something in the creator, the writers, and the directors speaks to me and helps me. It actually helps me see myself more clearly, and so be less of a "machine." The problems, attitudes, and behaviors of the characters open doors of insight for me. That is wonderful.But not tonight. This is not the time for it, and I felt that very strongly.
This is an interesting fact: We usually "really know" what we "should" be doing, that is, what some deeper part of ourself "wants" or "needs" to do at a given time. I think that really successful people have this ability to a superior degree. They feel, "Enough of that" and stop at once, whether they are taking a bath, looking at a sunset, doing a physical exercise, talking to someone on the phone, or browsing on the internet. If they ignore that little warning, "Enough!" they are not one of the really successful people. Their timing is off. They stop the particular activity which has run its course maybe ten minutes or a half hour too late, and are wasting their lives in the irrelevant. Some other opportunity which would have come up is missed entirely. But most likely they could not formulate rules for that. The rules might interfere.
At other times, rules are very important. Saying "I am going to exercise for twenty minutes every day" (or every day except a Sabbath, which I recommend), they firm themselves up by following that agenda strictly.
But one also knows when it is time to stop, or interrupt, an agenda or schedule! Maybe something crucial or wonderful comes up and you don't have time for that twenty-minute exercise (which usually takes longer than that because of preparation and de-acceleration afterward, such as putting clothes back on, etc.). So, while sticking to the agenda is good, knowing when to make an exception is also good.
"The System" is good for awakening us to these questions and issues and helping us see how to navigate in a wiser and less "mechanical" manner.
So I am writing a self-help guide here. Sorry. Not really; I am trying to get at some of the basic principles behind the way we govern or fail to govern ourselves. I would be the last to say we ought never to have free and spontaneous times. But when you examine it, how free and spontaneous are even those times? Dancing? Well, you dance to whatever music someone is playing. Is that spontaneous or is it machine-like? Sex? Well I won't say anything about that because I recognize the wisdom of G and O, who said, "Sex cannot be studied." I think they meant that it is probably the last thing people can or could bring under control and understand. Or maybe they were just trying to be sure they would not offend their paying clients or students by trying to control what is one of the most intimate and personal aspects of anyone's life.
Is playing a game with someone spontaneous? Maybe. Pool, for example; there have to be rules, yet within those rules you have quite a lot of freedom. There is always more than one right play. The same with chess; yet I doubt that anyone would call chess "spontaneous." Even when puppies play, they seem to know that some things are forbidden and stop at certain boundaries.
There is the further "contradiction" or paradox that sometimes a very controlled exercise can go along with, and facilitate, utterly free spontaneity. If you repeat a mantra or prayer steadily, continuously, for a long time, and if that mantra or prayer is working for you and you do it with an attitude which works (you have to find that for yourself), you may have extraordinarily wonderful visionary or spiritual experiences while repeating the prayer or mantra, and those have all the character of rich, wonderful, extraordinary spontaneity coming deep from the soul or inner consciousness.
That is wonderful when it happens. It can happen also with music. A piece you have heard many times (whether a symphony, sonata, hymn or popular song) opens doors in your feelings and awareness and you experience something extraordinary. The music, performed by someone else or yourself, is the same, and is very controlled without the slightest deviation from the score (maybe a recording you have heard many times), yet this time it takes you into a world of vision, feeling, and perhaps aspiration and realization you never experienced before in the same way. Someone might say that performing music with no deviation from the score is "anal" in the Freudian or psychological sense, that is, overly structured or obsessive-compulsive. However, enjoying someone else or oneself doing that can release amazingly free and spontaneous or vividly-living experiences in consciousness.
--HHHThursday, March 23, 2017 10:16 PM
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